Fall is here...

And I'm 30 now!  Not sure what it is about those who hate getting older.  I'm excited to be 30!  Espically when people say I don't look it.  Maybe that's why I don't mind getting older.

Work is still good, loving the trips I've been able to do. 

Koko and Louie are still getting into anything they can.  I love those two mutts! 

Hubby has gotten the truck working!  We're really excited about that.  Now we just need to get it cleaned up, and then we can sell the old blue kia.  Gonna miss that car.  Had it for almost 10 years now! But I wouldn't trade my new red kia for anything!

In a better frame of mind

As I let time pass, I'm getting closer to a better place for me.  I'm learning to trust my instincts and learning to have faith and hope that someday I will be a mother.

Steve has this faith and hope, and he's been lending it to me.  But he does let me figure things out for myself.  

In other news, I get to go on a business trip!  Can't wait for that!

Louie has gotten the same issue in his ear that Koko had.  But he's learning to let us clean it!

Huh...

Talking with some friends, they told me about a couple of different sites where you can see children who are in foster care.  Adopt US Kids is one, it's for the whole country.  Then there's the Wednesday's child here in Idaho.

Can I be honest, sometimes it bothers me when people ask how the adoption is going.  Right now, all we are doing is waiting.  There's not much excitement in that.  It gets more discouraging with each passing month.  Knowing that by October, we'll need to re-do everything again, so that we could still be considered.

Things that do help though, there's two different facebook pages that I look at, both deal with adoption.  There are some amazing stories, quotes and understanding there.  They understand that there's a lot of emotions in adoption.  Doesn't matter if you are a birth mother or father putting your baby up for adoption, or you are adopted, or if you are the adoptive parents.  So many emotions play out. You can go from being angry, to happy to content.  It's a rollercoaster for everyone involved.

It's been a rollercoaster for me.  And my one rock, my hubby.  He's been the one to stablize me.  He grounds me and he doesn't mind when all I want to do is cry. 

Don't get me wrong, I love my nieces and nephews, and I love my sisters and friends who have children, but sometimes it hurts seeing those pictures.  Images from ultrasounds.  I envy them.  And sometimes it makes me wonder what's wrong with me.  Why I can't carry or have my own.  Even with waiting to see if our name comes up at Health & Welfare, it hurts. 

I do take solace in the knowledge I have.  I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  I know I'm a child of God.  I know that He loves me and has a plan for me.  I know that He gives me prophets who speak for Him and give me words of encouragement.

One such is from Jeffrey R Holland: " If you are lonely, please know you can find comfort. If you are discouraged, please know you can find hope. If you are poor in spirit, please know you can be strengthened. If you feel you are broken, please know you can be mended.

In Nazareth, the narrow road,

That tires the feet and steals the breath,

Passes the place where once abode

The Carpenter of Nazareth.

 

And up and down the dusty way

The village folk would often wend;

And on the bench, beside Him, lay

Their broken things for Him to mend.

 

The maiden with the doll she broke,

The woman with the broken chair,

The man with broken plough, or yoke,

Said, “Can you mend it, Carpenter?”

 

And each received the thing he sought,

In yoke, or plough, or chair, or doll;

The broken thing which each had brought

Returned again a perfect whole.

 

So, up the hill the long years through,

With heavy step and wistful eye,

The burdened souls their way pursue,

Uttering each the plaintive cry:

 

“O Carpenter of Nazareth,

This heart, that’s broken past repair,

This life, that’s shattered nigh to death,

Oh, can You mend them, Carpenter?”

 

And by His kind and ready hand,

His own sweet life is woven through

Our broken lives, until they stand

A New Creation—“all things new.”

 

“The shattered [substance] of [the] heart,

Desire, ambition, hope, and faith,

Mould Thou into the perfect part,

O, Carpenter of Nazareth!”¹⁹

May we all, especially the poor in spirit, come unto Him and be made whole, I pray, in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, amen."

 

I believe in Christ; he stands supreme!

From him I'll gain my fondest dream;

And while I strive through grief and pain,

His voice is heard: "Ye shall obtain."

I believe in Christ; so come what may,

With him I'll stand in that great day

When on this earth he comes again

To rule among the sons of men.

          I Believe in Christ by  Bruce R. McConkie