Personal Strength through the Atonement of Jesus Christ

So last Sunday, Steve and I were given that topic to talk on in church.  I had told my sister I'd send it to her to read- she was interested in what I wrote.  So I thought I'd share it here:

Good Morning brothers and sisters! Many of you know us, especially if you’ve had a son in cub scouts these past two years.  But for those that don’t, Steve and I have been married eight years this may.  We have two four legged kids, Koko and Louie and in five weeks, we will have the opportunity to adopt a baby girl.

When Brother Hughes called and told me the topic, and conference talk, I realized that there were many different ways to approach it.  Personal Strength through the Atonement.

I hope that I can convey how I’ve gained personal strength through the Atonement, and how I’ve used the Atonement in my life.

When I was younger, I saw the trials my sisters each went through, and being naive, I wondered to myself why I didn’t have any of those trials.  Going to church, fulfilling my calling in Young Women’s was never difficult.  At night, I would ask God what my trials would be. 

Ten years ago, I was engaged, but a week before the wedding it was called off- I was hurt, but I knew that I would be married someday.  I had gotten my patriarchal blessing when I was a youth, and I held onto the promises in it. 

That fall I met Steve, but we didn’t have the best first impression of each other, a story for another day.  The following fall, things changed between us and we started to get to know each other, and eventually got married shortly after he graduated.  I could see the promises that Heavenly Father gave me coming to pass.  When we knew it was time to start our family, I knew it wouldn’t happen that following month.  But I never imagined that it would not happen, at least not in the “normal” way.  I was envious of those around me, who were able to have children.

Looking back on that today, I see that this is one of my biggest tests.  How I would react, and how my testimony would be tested, and how my faith in God’s plan could help me.  I read and re-read my patriarchal blessing, because I’d been promised that I would have joy and rejoicing in my posterity.  That small phrase, I held onto it, because I knew that I would have children.  I just didn’t know how my father in heaven would bring this blessing to pass.  I held onto that hope.

My journey in trusting Heavenly father, and leaning on the Savoir and his atoning sacrifice started with one word.  One word that I really hated to hear: patience.  I use to call it the dreaded p-word, because I knew I wasn’t patient.  I wanted to know how the events in my life would go, and I wanted to know now. 

But I learned that things don’t work that way.  Heavenly Father’s plan doesn’t work that way.  At my Savior’s lowest moment of weakness, pain and grief – He had patience.  He said “Father remove this cup from me, but not my will but thine be done.”  Christ knew that all things are done according to the Father’s will.  It took me in this test to realize that, that Heavenly Father has a plan for my life.

I have found great comfort knowing that the Atonement isn’t just for those sins I’ve committed or will commit – I’m not perfect, but it’s for all my pains, trials and grief.  Jesus knows my struggles; he knows the righteous yearnings of my heart.  He has felt the anguish I’ve felt, and he knows the pain that I’ve had for the past while. 

In a BYU devotional address given by Michael D Barnes, he says “Weaknesses are not choices but are hallowed gifts from God, and thus they are not sins.  God-given weaknesses do not require repentance, since they are gifts to help us humbly rely on God and love and assist others.  Fortunately, the Atonement is always available for you and me when we depend upon Him because of our sins and weaknesses.  Thus our weaknesses become another important way for us to rely upon the Lord’s Atonement throughout our lives.”

I love music, and in I Believe in Christ, there’s one part I want to read: I believe in Christ, he ransoms me, from Satan’s grasp, he sets me free. And I shall live with joy and love, in his eternal courts above.  Music is so powerful, and on days where I’m struggling, all I’ll listen to are EFY tracks, or the Pandora, where I have a channel for Mormon Tabernacle Choir.  I believe that the songs that are played help to answer questions I have, or to calm my fears and remind me that my father in heaven loves me, and is conscience of me.

One thing that the Atonement has given me is hope.  In the 1998 October general conference, Elder Neal A Maxwell said “unsurprisingly, hope is intertwined with other gospel doctrines, especially faith and patience.”  In Mosiah 24:15 it says “the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.” 

There’s that word.  It’s easier to talk of patience than to really have it.  Over the years, I know that I have more patience with some parts of my life, but I’m still trying to have it with other parts.  When I read in the scriptures especially that part in Mosiah- where Alma and his brethren are preaching the gospel they endured so much, because of the choices the Lamenites.  But they relied on the Lord, and he helped them.  And I’m learning that he helps me too.

In the 1988 October general conference, Elder James E Faust said “We still don’t know how the Savoir was able to take upon himself and bear our transgressions, our foolishness, our grief, our sorrows, our burdens.”  But Christ tells us in Matthew 11:28 “Come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.”  He wants to help us, he’s at the door knocking, and we just have to let him in.

During the darkest moments, I wondered why, such a change from wondering what trials I may face.  I didn’t want this test.  I thought that I’d rather have anything else.  I remember a story that was told when I was in young womens, that if we were to go into a room and pick a different trial, that our own would look small in comparison.  We are not given more than we can handle.

You’re Not Alone, a song sung by Meredith Andrews has some lyrics that fits: “You cry yourself to sleep Cause the hurt is real and the pain cuts deep All hope seems lost with heartache your closest friend And everyone else long gone You’ve had to face the music on your own But there is a sweeter song that calls you home, saying You’re not alone for I am here Let me wipe away your every tear My love, I’ve never left your side I have seen you through the darkest night And I’m the One who’s loved you all your life.”

Christ doesn’t leave us alone.  He is there with us, walking beside us and sometimes carrying us when we feel we can’t go on anymore.  My favorite poem Footprints, says “One night I dreamed a dream.

I was walking along the beach with my Lord. Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to me and one to my Lord.

When the last scene of my life shot before me I looked back at the footprints in the sand. There was only one set of footprints. I realized that this was at the lowest and saddest times of my life. This always bothered me and I questioned the Lord about my dilemma.

"Lord, You told me when I decided to follow You, You would walk and talk with me all the way. But I'm aware that during the most troublesome times of my life there is only one set of footprints. I just don't understand why, when I need You most, You leave me."

He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you, never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you."

In Believing Christ by Stephen E Robinson, he tells us, “We have a Savior who can save us from ourselves, from what we lack, from our imperfections, from the carnal individual within us.”

One night after going to a relief society activity, I realized that I was depressed.  I remember coming home and telling Steve.  I made the appointment to talk with my doctor about it, and she recommended therapy and medication.  I’d been in therapy before but never really thought it would help with the depression.  As I started seeing the therapist, I noticed a change in my perspective.  It didn’t happen overnight, it’s an ongoing process, and through it, and a gospel based support group, I’ve started leaning more on my Savior for his help and comfort.

In the conference talk last October, Elder Richard G Scott said “the joyful news is that the Lord sees weaknesses different than he does rebellion.  When the lord speaks of weaknesses it is always with mercy.”  Because of the Savior’s Atonement, he is able to protect us from our weaknesses and strengthen us.  Revelation 21:4 says “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes, and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain.”

James E Faust also said that people cannot help but wonder how many of those drops of precious blood each may be responsible for.  It’s incomprehensible to think about.  But Christ died so that man can live.  He died so that I can have peace through the trials and tribulations that have come and will come in my life.

The other day, I was sitting in the temple, and I realized that all he asks of me is to do all I can and he’ll make up the difference.  That’s what the Atonement is, to me, making up that difference that I cannot pay on my own.  In my studies of the Savior, I have come to understand how the Atonement has impacted my life, how it’s given me the quiet strength to endure the trials placed before me.  Because of the Atonement, I can become whole. 

After telling what he calls the parable of the bicycle, Stephen E Robinson also tells us in Believe Christ, “At some point we realize, “I can’t do this!” At that point, we taste the sweetness of the gospel covenant as the Savior proposes, “All right, you’re not perfect. Give me all you have, and I’ll pay the rest. Give me a hug and a kiss—that is, enter into a personal relationship with me—and I will do what remains undone.”

There is good news and bad news. The bad news is that he still requires our best effort. We must try, we must work—we must do all that we can. But the good news is that, having done all we can, it is enough—for now. Together we’ll make progress in the eternities, and eventually we will become perfect. But in the meantime, we are perfect only in a partnership, in a covenant relationship with him. Only by tapping his perfection can we hope to qualify.”

Another song that has helped me to understand the Atonement is: I need thee every Hour.  I want to read two versus: “I need thee, every hour, stay thou nearby.  Temptations lose their power, when thou art night.  I need thee every hour, in joy or pain.” 

There are many wonderful hymns we have, and there’s one that I tend to recite in my head often – more often when I’ve been struggling, is Be Still My Soul: “Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side; With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain. Leave to thy God to order and provide; In ev'ry change he faithful will remain. Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav'nly Friend Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end. 2. Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake To guide the future as he has the past. Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake; All now mysterious shall be bright at last. Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below. 3. Be still, my soul: The hour is hast'ning on When we shall be forever with the Lord, When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone, Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored. Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past, All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.”

I am grateful for the love Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have for me.  For this gospel and what it has done to help me learn and grow so that I can return to my eternal home and know that I did all I could to live with them again.  I know that the Atonement is real, and powerful.  Without it, I would be lost. 

I am grateful to be married to my best friend.  I love Steve, and I love that the tests and trails we have faced together, strengthen our marriage, and our trust in Heavenly Father’s plan for us.  I love that he has the priesthood, and is able to give me blessings from my father in heaven when I need them.

I have a testimony of the love my father in heaven has for me.  Of the atoning sacrifice Christ gave so that I can know when I’m in the midst of trials, there is one who knows perfectly how I feel and knows how best to comfort me.  I have a testimony of the power of prayers; Heavenly Father answers them in his time and through other people. 

I am grateful for my cubs, and the leaders I get to work with.  I love watching them learn and grow.

I want to close with another part of I Believe In Christ: I believe in Christ, he stands supreme, from him I’ll gain my fondest dream, and while I strive through grief and pain, his voice is heard, ye shall obtain.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.